Warning: This article contains sensitive descriptions of suicide. Please read with caution.
By all accounts, Michelle Hale's 26-year-old son is doing well.
He had just graduated from Nova Scotia Community College and was excelling at his job as a pharmacist.
However, his mother recalled that while Cameron was excited about his career, he also had a lot weighing on him.
“There's a homeless encampment[near our house]and it bothers him that as a society we allow people to live like this in all these terrible conditions. He's concerned about global warming … it feels like the world has really deteriorated,” she said.
“And the hatred, the hate, any hatred directed at the LGBTQ community bothered him greatly.”
To support her son, her family provides food and water to the camp and creates a welcoming space for LGBTQ2 friends at their home in Lower Sackville, just outside Halifax, Nova Scotia.
“I tried to discuss with him how to maintain and manage things at our level because we cannot control things at the global level,” she said.
“We tried everything, but I think he was just really frustrated with the state of the world and frustrated that he couldn’t make progress.”
Michelle recalled that when he first fell into crisis, she received a call from his employer because he did not show up for work. She returned home to find him in desperate need of help.
“We called the 24-hour mental health crisis line and they said take him to the emergency room. There were no other resources or options. We had no family doctor to contact to see if his medication needed to be adjusted,” she said.
“I ended up calling the virtual care center … only to be told they don't deal with mental health issues. Cameron didn't want to go to the emergency room because he works there. He works at the hospital and risked bumping into a coworker.”
Through the Employee Assistance Program (EAP), he was connected to a psychologist. Michelle said she had no idea what happened, but six weeks later, he committed suicide.
“He left home in the middle of the night and bought drugs to kill himself,” she said. “We were devastated.”
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That is August 11, 2023.
Now she, her husband and Cameron's brother are searching for answers and worried.
“I'm worried about my oldest son because of the things Cameron is worried about, and so is my other son. And so are a lot of Cameron's peers,” she said.
“All the mothers I spoke to who came to me for help had children who had the same concerns and worries. It was horrible… these children felt hopeless about the future.”
Michelle made these remarks during Men's Mental Health Awareness Month.
According to the Public Health Agency of Canada, the suicide rate is about Three times higher in men than in womenSuicide is also the second leading cause of death among adolescents and young adults aged 15 to 34.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness
Simon Shirley, a clinical psychologist and professor in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at Dalhousie University, said statistics do show that suicide disproportionately affects men.
“About 70 to 75 per cent of suicides in Canada are men. This imbalance exists in every country in the world,” he said.
Shirley said more initiatives and support were needed to focus on vulnerable groups, as the “male stereotype” did not seem to fit mental illness.
“About 12 to 15 percent of men will be diagnosed with depression at some point in their lives. And we're not very good at helping these men. Stigma sets in, and the way we construct mental illness at a societal level often doesn't include men,” he said.
The answer, Shirley said, is to understand that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
“It's a courageous thing to do, but it's often hard to do. So we have to start pushing back against the masculine gender norms that frame mental illness as a personal failure and a personal responsibility,” he said.
“I will do my best to help him do this.”
For Michelle, her son's struggle opened her eyes to the difficulties young people face.
“I think since COVID and the current economic situation, it’s really impacted our young people’s expectations for the future. My son said, ‘I’m never going to own my own house.’ They all feel that way,” she said.
“We had concerns growing up. He said, 'The difference is, we see it on our phones 24 hours a day.' He said, 'You might see it on the news once in a while, but it's in front of us 24 hours a day.'
Last fall, Nova Scotia enacted legislative amendments to the Health Services and Insurance Act to allow mental health and addiction treatment to be provided as part of the publicly funded health care system.
To date, the government has invested $65 million in mental health and addiction treatment over the past two years.
Michelle believes more can be done and would like to see walk-in clinics specifically for mental health, or more access to mental health practitioners.
“I really think if we had been able to give Cameron a little more help and they might have been able to adjust his medication, I think maybe we would be in a different situation today,” she said.
“Something has to change. It's too late for Cameron but hopefully it will help other people. So I'll try to do that for him.”
If you or someone you know is in crisis and needs help, help is available. In an emergency, call 911 for immediate help.
In Nova Scotia, the provincial mental health and addiction crisis line number is 1-888-429-8167.
For a directory of support services in your region, visit Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention at suicideprevention.ca.
Learn more about Prevent suicide with these warning signs and helpful tips.
